the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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