you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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