how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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