So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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