Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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