She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
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I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
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I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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