Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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