I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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