You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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