your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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