WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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