I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize