So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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