I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
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I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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