apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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