no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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