she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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