Your mouth is God's brothel.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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