i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What drink are we having for lunch?
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If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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