ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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