I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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