she was so not down for the gang bang
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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