it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize