So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
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I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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