how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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