I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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