windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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