she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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