well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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