btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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