Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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