just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize