He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize