It's Friday. Sex?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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