I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
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Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
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