What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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