I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize