so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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