You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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