not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
the raccoons are back...
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