The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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