I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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