i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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