just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize