She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
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He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
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I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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