I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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