So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
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Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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