Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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