Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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