Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Houston, we have a squirter
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize